Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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