The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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