i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize