that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
