Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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