:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
