JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
