You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
