If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You don't make any sense
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