And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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