I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
