I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
