i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize