Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
