we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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