His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
