omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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