He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize