Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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