she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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