I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
