I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
