i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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