I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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