So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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