Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
