Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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