I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
