We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
