She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
