Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize