I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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