I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
