dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
