So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
