I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
