Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
