I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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