when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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