I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
