It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize