So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to make out with him forever
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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