I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
