hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
