I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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