This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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