Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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