my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
