I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
