seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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