I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
