Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
