I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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