He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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