where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
