we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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