That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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