Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize