i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
