GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
