What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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