I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize