I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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