Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
